Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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