if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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