Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize