I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
