why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
