i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize