this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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