I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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