Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
