I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
