in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
