The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want to make a zoo with you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
