check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
