Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I understand Curling. That high.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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