it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
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it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
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i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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