Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
