I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
