Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Please, let me fuck your mom
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
