She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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