dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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