I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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