I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
