she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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