There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And then my night got REAL pukey
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
