is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
