Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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