He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My vagina just clenched in fear
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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