id be glad to
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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