things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
