you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
