FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
