lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize