i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
