i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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