I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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