His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
