hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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