Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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