Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
