At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think people are normalizing furries
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
