Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
