my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
