he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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