Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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