I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can I color on your dick again?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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