This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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