your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
