Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So many bounce houses so little time
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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