I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize