Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize