I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize