I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
