Kareoke will never be a sober sport
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
