You're my little dorito
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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