So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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