I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
