so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
