its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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