I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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