There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
YAS. BRING CRAB.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
