Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize