He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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