the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
